(or better, how to lose your hearing with style)
In Valencia, noise is not a flaw, but a local specialty. As a matter of fact, in Valencian, noise is translated as soroll, a term that was literally embraced by the city with affection.
One could believe that noise was invented here, patented, celebrated and exported across the globe.
Fun fact : the most famous valencian painting bears the graceful name of Sorolla and the city’s main station shares the same name.
Coincidence? I don’t think so….Valencia, capital of the eponymous autonomous community, shines thanks to its sun, its cuisine and explosive celebrations but above all for its remarkable talent of transforming every day life into an urban symphony. Mechanical shutters, wild percussions, crying children, jarring scooters: everything adds to this cheerful Mediterranean racket.
Welcome in the endless Mediterranean opera. So, if you would like an immersive ASMR urban experience, crank up your headphones and prepare to experience Valencia’s unique soundscape!
1. Fallas, the tradition of setting off firecrackers at dawn.
The Fallas of Valencia, it’s as if the city decides to transform the month of March into an amped-up carnival of sound.
Giant 20 metre-high statues, called ninots, are set alight in a spectacle that feels like a joyful apocalypse.
But before that, the mascletà takes the spotlight: this synchronised explosion of firecrackers at a set time (2pm sharp, so much for your lunch on the terrace).
And remember : these are not just some birthday party firecrackrers.
Oh no, absolutely not….
Every mascletá uses up to 120 kilos of gunpowder. Valencia’s city council has set a current limit of 275 kg of explosives for the mascletàs in Town Hall Square.
You dont watch the mascletá, it’s something you feel in your very organs.
Just like one local proudly puts it :
“If you didn’t feel it in your ribcage, it wasn’t a true mascletà.”
2. Mopeds and scooters, two noisy and invasive local species.
Valencia without scooters and mopeds is like a paella with no rice: nonsense.
They are everywhere.
In front of you, behind you, next to you on the pavement (yes, even there).
Both at day and night, these mechanic beasts roar in the streets.
It is estimated that over 10% of urban journeys in Valencia are made on two-wheelers.
And when either of them decides to go for a ride at three in the morning beneath your thin-walled flat, you reckon a quiet old tram would have done the trick just the same.
But we’re not exactly in Zurich here.
3. Terraces and spontaneous karaoke sessions: the perpetual concert.
Fancy enjoying a clóchina in peace? Too bad.
Your evening will play out live to the following symphony :
- a child hitting a spoon against a glass for the past 23 minutes;
- two Dutch singing Bohemian Rhapsody on and on since brunch;
- a lazy server shouting out beer orders like a 19th-century town crier.
And to top it all off, an old radio crackling with Cadena 100, the station that’s been playing the same Shakira song on repeat since 2005.
In Valencia, even private conversations can be heard three tables away.
You call this invasion of privacy ; here, that’s what we call a warm and friendly atmosphere.
4. Urban percussions : the pneumatic drill, Valencia’s official instrument
Imagining Valencia without the sweet song of jackhammers is like imagining a paella with chorizo : utterly ridiculous.
It’s as if the local civil engineers had struck a secret deal with an earplug company.
Day and night, the streets pulse to the cheerful rhythm of shattering concrete and crumbling asphalt. The endless symphony of construction turns every outing into a poetic stroll set to industrial music.
Perhaps it’s all a clever tourist ploy to remind us that the city’s modernisation never sleeps… and neither do we?
It’s often the case that a new building site starts up.
When that happens, your only chance of peace is retreating to the Turia Garden.
But watch out : even there, you’re likely to stumble across a zumba class or a jogger armed with a JBL speaker
5. Pigeons who think they’re DJs
Thought they were harmless? Think again.
The pigeons of Valencia have lungs, personality and probably a talent agent too.
They don’t coo, they proclaim.
They don’t fly : they make tidal waves over your jamón bocadillo.
Some specimens in Plaza Redonda and the Monforte Gardens seem to have merged with car horns.
They live in flocks, move in squadrons and have no respect for terraces.
Still, at least they don’t ride scooters.
6. Doors that slam like firecrackers during Fallas
In Valencia, a little-known yet widespread art form thrives : slamming doors with almost theatrical force.
Each block of flats becomes a rehearsal room for aspiring pyrotechnicians : a front door, a loose handle and suddenly a BANG! fit for a mascletá firecracker.
No chance of a little nap without being startled awake at least three times because of the neighbour on the second floor that barges in like he’s leading the final battle.
By night, the walk home after a night out delivers the finest acoustic performances.
Some buildings have been even suspected of using their doors as makeshift burglar alarms and at times it feels as though people are actually training daily for an annual door-slamming contest.
7. Street parties (everyone is the DJ but no one is sober)
Spain loves its street parties. Valencia cherishes them, celebrates them and then amplifies them to the point of acoustic delirium. Whether it’s during the July Fair, the Saint Vicente Martir Festival or the must see night of Saint John (San Juan, as the locals call it), one thing is certain : peace and quiet are banned by order of the city council. The following is how the night of Saint John typically goes:
- The beach turns into a giant wild campsite and finding a spot to pitch your tent becomes an Olympic sport.
- Giant bouncy castles pop up on the pavements, seemingly backed by the local orthopaedic clinic.
- A stage featuring a vintage DJ straight from the 80s, with questionable music taste but unshaken enthusiasm nonetheless.
When it comes to the noise, get your ears ready for :
- An overdose of raggaeton that will be playing until four in the morning just to make your soul (and left eardrum) vibrate.
- Cheesy Spanish classics remixed by a DJ that quite obviously failed his audition for “Never Mind the Buzzcocks” in 1996.
- Cheesy microphone banter straight out of a children’s school fair with audience participation compulsory, especially after three glasses of sangria.
Obviously, this is all ” authorised by the city council ” until four in the morning. Midnight is only the beginning of the evening in Valencia.
8. Street sellers and hawkers with their «Water! Beer! Coke!»
Do you truy believe that the beach is a safe haven ?
You lay down your towel, stretch out a bit, close your eyes….and there they come.
The sellers with their drinks.
Their average voice volume ranges from 90 to 95 decibels and you best believe you will see the same one every four minutes.
“Come get you wateeerr! Come get your beeeer! Cooookee!”. No pause, no catching up their breath, no mercy.
Even at nap time, your brain will seem to keep hearing the echo of their battle cry.
And if you hope to avoid them by going to Jardins de Viveros, just know that they’re at work there too, often teamed up with the seller of fake sunglasses.
9. The kids in turbo mode in the town squares.
Fancy having a coffe in a nice place like in la Plaza del Patriarca or in la Plaza Doctor Collado ?
Get ready to witness a mini Grand Prix.
Scooters, footballs, piercing screams, fake arguments but shouted at the top of their lungs.
And there’s always that little one who keeps shouting “Muuuummm!” as if they were just abandoned in a jungle, despite the fact that she’s literally three feet away.
No breaks, no filters and most definitely no mute button.
10. Car and house alarms wailing away for no reason and going on and on and on…
You did nothing, nobody touched anything and yet, a car alarm has just gone off.
There hasn’t been any break-in but suddenly your neighbour’s alarm decides to start blaring and waking up (and disturbing) the whole street.
We’re not talking about a little and discreet ringtone. On the contrary.
This is a full-blown siren, straight out of a Hollywood disaster film.
Nobody reacts. In the meantime the owner is probably on a weekend trip to Gandía.
Whilst you’re left wondering if your right ear has just melted off.
And since these alarms last 3 to 7 minutes, you have a long time to question your housing choices.
11. The damn sirens…
Firefighters, ambulances, the local police, the national force, or the Guardia Civil.
Valencia seems to have a tradition of sirens racing through the city at all hours, blaring with unabashed enthusiasm.
A local peculiatity : every service has its own siren and they love to set them all off at once.
You’re never far from the classic siren + horn + swear word combo.
12. The chatty dogs of the neighbourhood.
In Valencia, there’s no need for doorbells.
That’s what the dogs are for.
Whether they’re at a pavement café, a balcony or in a patio, they’re ready to remark on every passer-by, two legged or four.
Footsteps? Barking.
Another dog? Collective barking.
Falling leaf? Solo barking.
And when one starts, the whole block follows.
You wanted some silence?
Get a cat.
13. Neighbourhood gossip : unlimited volume.
If you believed that Spanish abuelas were happy just baking biscuits and watching telenovelas, you would be gravely mistaken.
They have in fact also mastered the art of neighbourhood noise monitoring.
Leaned onto their balconies and chatting – shouting actually – about everyone’s lives (especially of those who are not present).
“Did you see the girl on the 3rd floor? She has a new man every night.”
All this during two rounds of oral Scrabble and a detailed observation of the clothes hanging across the way.
And if you hear your name, it’s too late : you are unfortunately already in their radar.
14. The afilador de cuchillos (and his dreadful flute).
He’s the one responsible of haunting Valencia with his soundtrack.
You’d swear it was an hallucination, maybe a sound from outer space….
But no. It’s simply the knives sharpener.
He shows up on a bike, armed with a squeaky flute blasting through a rusty megaphone and yelling like the civil had started again.
“EL AFILADOOOOOOOOORRRRRR!”
He pops up when you’re working, when you’re sleeping and right when you least expect it.
Not once have you actually handed him a knife.
15. The bin lorry and its glass symphony.
You’re peacefully sleeping.
And then suddenly, you hear a crash.
You think : “Was there an accident?”
Oh no, it was just the glass recycling container being emptied into a lorry at two in the morning.
Followed then by the chains rattling, bins slamming and the binmen’s conversation in full shouting mode.
A surprise concert for the involuntary nocturnal.
Like clockwork, this performance kicks off again every week.
16. Human speakers in the cars (or how to hear everything unwillingly).
Here, cars are not only a way of transport.
They are also a mobile teleconference room.
Engine running, windows down, speaker on… and there you are listening to a conversation with the uncle from Zaragoza and the cousin from Denia talking about some sofa sales.
“I’M TELLING YOU TO TAKE IT TO MY HOUSE, DAMN IT!”
You learn about everything without ever asking about it.
A true public service.
17. Dancing furniture in the neighbour’s flat.
In Valencia, furniture seems to have its own life
They move,
Often.
Constantly.
It sounds like the upstairs neighbour redecorates his living room every two days
Sofa moved, table dragged, bed shaken… like a never-ending dance of moving day.
And since the floors are tiled, every scrape echoes crystal clear, until you can identify each piece of furniture by sound alone.
18. Main road traffic : the city’s permanent white noise machine.
Are you a fan of constant sounds, background atmospheres or endless soundscapes?
If yes, welcome in the Avenida del Cid, Blasco Ibáñez or even Gran Vía.
An unstoppable flow of cars, screeching brakes, angry horns and nervous restarts.
Night and day, a sweet melody of motorised stress. An urban ASMR for the insomniacs.
Bonus : from 8 to 9 in the morning you can hear at least 27 creative insults shouted through the closed windows.
19. Buses, always itching to make their entrance.
EMT buses are a bit like that one big uncle that shows up uninvited and makes themselves at home.
He brakes while grumbling, restarts with a sigh, and growls at the slightest speed bump.
Some models actually sound like they’re powered by a mammouth’s roar.
And when two buses meet in a narrow street it’s like watching two whales turning around in a bathtub.
Let’s not forget the robotic voice that shouts “Next Stop…” at 110 dB.
20. Delivery lorries: the neighbourhood’s alarm clocks.
5:45 am. A quiet side road.
The sun hasn’t even come up.
BIP-BIP-BIP-BIP.
And here’s the reversing sound of the grocery shop’s delivery lorry.
Followed by the banging bins, crates crashing down and creaking gates.
You open an eye, hoping it’s a dream
But no. It’s just Mercadona, restocking their yoghurt aisle.
And the delivery bloke chatting on speakerphone at the same time.
21. Gas cylinders falling from the sky.
Here in Valencia, the gas man with his bombonas is basically a local legend.
He turns up in an orange pickup and as he shouts “¡El gaaaas!” with a voice that could only come from a past life at the opera, he slams the gas bottles on the ground as if he wanted to wake up the whole neighbourhood.
The noise of the metal hitting against the concrete is just incomparable.
Each delivery man causes about 3 minutes of commotion and after that the building falls into a deep awkward silence.
22. Your neighbour’s home cinema (no cinema but the volume on full blast).
Your neighbour sure has good taste.
He loves action films, videogames and raggaeton.
And he loves sharing his passions with you.
At 3 o’ clock, at 10 o’ clock, or a 3.12 in the morning.
You don’t have Netflix but you understand Fast & Furious 8 with surprising clarity
The wall shakes, the bass vibrates and the dialogues echo.
And now you even know the lines by heart.
23. The never-ending concrete construction sites.
In some roads all around Valencia there’s always buildings under construction.
Nobody knows if the works are still ongoing, but everyone can agree that it’s deafening.
Hammers, cement mixers, cranes, security alarms, instructions being shouted en plein air…
it’s a daily industrial musical score
And the best part is when the construction site starts at dawn and then, around 1:30 pm, everything stops: it’s lunch time.
Just when you were in a Zoom meeting.
24. The soundtrack of trams and local trains : tracks that sing and brakes that wail and sob.
Were you hoping on getting on a Cercanías Renfe or into a tram in line 10 and enjoying the of the calming silence of modern transportation?
You should know by now…
Every bend is welcomed with its own metal squeal and at each stop the brakes start groaning like a tired old man.
And between the two stations, an automated voice declares “Sant Isidre” as if it were a forbidden curse from Harry Potter.
Special mention to the surprise announcements and to the passengers who collectively answer their calls on speaker.
25. Shop roller shutters : BOUM, GRRRR, CLACK.
It’s barely even eight in the morning and you’re still sleeping. The roads are quiet. And then suddenly :
GRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAANKKKK!!
That’s the dreadful noise of a metal shutter opening with all the grace of a small earthquake.
And then BOUM against the ground. And at times, to spice things up, it finishes off with a little CLACK-CLACK.
In this city, shop rollers don’t just discreetly open : they announce to the whole neighbourhood that yes, the phone shop is indeed open.
And there’s not going back to sleep now, you’re wide awake for good.
26. …
Well, this city’s constant racket has made me lose sleep and now my ideas have all dried up. Not to worry, I will soon be back for some more since Valencia’s noise supply is endless.
Then, why stay in Valencia?
Are we masochists?
No (well, perhaps).
Because despite its permanent racket, Valencia is irresistible.
Delicious food, nice tans, delighful loud conversations with everyone and a good life
The sunlight’s beautiful, the beach is close, the people smile (even when they honk at you)
You get used to it.
You even end up loving this all this clamour
A bit like how we love that one old cranky uncle that speaks too loud at family dinner : we wouldn’t exchange them for the world.
What about your website amidst all that noise?
In Valencia, noise is part of the scenery. But online, to make yourself heard, it’s better to rely on a well-thought-out SEO strategy than on a mascletà blasting at 120 decibels.
Carefully crafted multilingual content, smart link building, localised branding… that’s how to make noise in the SERPs without bursting any eardrums.
👉 A digital mascletà? Start with a local SEO audit.
👉 Want to dominate your niche? Fine-tune your link building.
👉 Want a site that draws people in naturally, without shouting? Contact our team. We speak SEO the way others shout on terraces.
With us, your site attracts, stands out, and makes noise where it really matters.
